"Should the wasteland seem like good old days, cause then you could hide in the haze..."

        I do not have very clear memories of 2020. I remember the quiet, cold, deserted nature of most places; I remember halves of faces behind blue masks. But more than that, I remember thinking fondly of previous years when the world hadn’t stopped. A year or so after the onset of the pandemic, as we started to emerge from our self-made cocoons, I remember thinking that we would eventually look back on the time that we spent isolated and wish we could go back to that. Over and over, we’d repeat this cycle. “Remember the good old days? That was fun.” I once heard someone say that nostalgia was history after a few drinks. Would if it were so simple that we could just move backwards.

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       This song could be thought of as the darker side to "Growing Up". Although I think that "Growing Up" is something of a sad song in itself, this one was written about a friend in the deep throes of depression, "Should" crescendos and darkens, becoming more and more distorted as the ending comes to a climax. I think it reflects the isolation that many of us felt during the pandemic, and a sort of sympathy for those who did not fare well. Some that I know graduated high school at the onset of the pandemic in May of 2020, went to college at its height, had their most significant experiences ravaged, and graduated with a massive hole in the front half of their lives. The powerful, distorted, dark ending of this song represents a sort of arrogant rebellion against the hardship of this period. 

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       It is easy to find comfort in melancholy, I think. That deep isolation and quiet of staring in the rearview mirror, might seem more peaceful than lonely because, at least then, “you could hide in the haze.” In many ways, young people today may have had to grow up at faster rates than previous generations. It is something that I think we wrestle with constantly, and this anger is portrayed ubiquitously in popular culture. But we have a responsibility to cut through the noise, the tough times, the moral bankruptcy, and the vacancy of the heart; to not be resentful in the face of such challenges, but instead to grow up again. 

Love,

NM