Everyone dwells on things from the past. There are moments that creep up at random, unexpected times that cause physiological reactions. Fear, embarrassment, horror… they all can crop up out of nowhere. The brain causes these memories to flash through small, even consciously imperceptible cues like color or, more prominently, smell. Even dementia patients have memories that cannot be held back if certain deep-seeded triggers are experienced. 

         

          This is a song about the slow decay of a relationship. A friend, a romance, a family member could all be interpreted to be the subject of the song. It can sometimes be tough to tell if an individual was positively pivotal (blood) or nothing but a passing phase (running water). Every single chorus tells you where you’re headed. The idea of the “city” has always been something of interest to me. I associate it with anonymity and exploration, and at the same time darkness and isolation. Limitless possibility and bottomless void, all in one. It is like the place where dreams and personal hells collide. It’s a bit romanticized, no doubt, but it is the image I was trying to convey. The lonely night in the city is waiting for you, now rid of what might have come before. It might be full of sadness, or it might be full of potential.

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          The bridge discusses this phenomenon: the burden that you “have to move forward, you can never go back.” I believe that this moving on is made more difficult if you were the one making the effort to save the relationship. “Have another laugh / story / chance on me.” Somehow, your best effort, upon looking back, begins to feel insufficient. Maybe, if you tried a little harder, it may have all worked out. And perhaps sometimes it is true that you should have behaved differently. But sometimes there was nothing more that could be done, and I believe I have reached a point of maturity to recognize that there is no such thing as going back to ‘good old days.’ This is not out of misplaced optimism (cue the cliched ‘your best days are always ahead!’), but rather because you either live thankfully and work hard to keep yourself moving towards a better future than what has been left behind, or you do nothing but desire what came before. 

 

Love,

NM